Dear Alabama Weather,
Thank you for the dash of cold. Now if we could NOT go back to flip flop temperatues this week, that would be great. K? Thanks.
Dear Taylor Swift,
I'm sorry you didn't win anything at the AMA's. Actually, that's a lie. Not sorry at all.
Dear Mr. President,
I'm not scared of letting three year old Syrian babies into the country. I'm scared of the terrorists that might carry them in. I am so tired of you.
Dear Miley Cyrus,
You've gone nude, smoked pot on stage, and danced with dildos...and still no one cares about you.
Dear Charlie Sheen,
No one is surprised.
Dear Kylie Jenner,
If your goal with the lip fillers and face contouring was to look 35, mission accomplished.
Dear Marco Rubio,
You have my vote...for cutest candidate. And maybe president. TBD.
Dear Quentin Tarantino,
Please shut up and stick to making good movies.
Dear Blake Shelton,
Everyone is shocked that you and Miranda called it quits. I’m really not surprised since you were married when you started dating her. It usually ends how it began.
Dear Clare Bowen,
I seriously dig the new cut. Now can you please work on that fake southern accent?
I’ll keep buying my usual hazelnut latte even if your cups don’t have pretty snowflakes on them this year. That is what the big deal is about, isn’t it? The snowflakes?