Monday, November 23, 2015

A Collection of Short, Open Letters

Dear Alabama Weather,
Thank you for the dash of cold.  Now if we could NOT go back to flip flop temperatues this week, that would be great.  K?  Thanks.

Dear Taylor Swift,
I'm sorry you didn't win anything at the AMA's. Actually, that's a lie. Not sorry at all.

Dear Mr. President,
I'm not scared of letting three year old Syrian babies into the country.  I'm scared of the terrorists that might carry them in.  I am so tired of you.

Dear Miley Cyrus,
You've gone nude, smoked pot on stage, and danced with dildos...and still no one cares about you.

Dear Charlie Sheen,
No one is surprised.

Dear Kylie Jenner,
If your goal with the lip fillers and face contouring was to look 35, mission accomplished.

Dear Marco Rubio,
You have my vote...for cutest candidate. And maybe president. TBD.

Dear Quentin Tarantino,
Please shut up and stick to making good movies.

Dear Blake Shelton,
Everyone is shocked that you and Miranda called it quits. I’m really not surprised since you were married when you started dating her. It usually ends how it began.

Dear Clare Bowen,
I seriously dig the new cut. Now can you please work on that fake southern accent?

Dear Starbucks,
I’ll keep buying my usual hazelnut latte even if your cups don’t have pretty snowflakes on them this year. That is what the big deal is about, isn’t it? The snowflakes?

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Monday, November 16, 2015

The Girl in the Booties - Thoughts on Paris

Friday night we went to the comedy club for Chris's 29th birthday.  I didn't feel much like laughing.
I couldn't stop thinking about what was happening in Paris.  Around the time Chris and I left for the club, the Paris police were storming the concert hall in an attempt to save the hostages that were being executed one by one.  I sat at work and prayed earnestly for them to be saved, even though I knew it wasn't likely.

I was looking at photos from the sidewalks and saw all of the bodies covered in white sheets.  One photo in particular stood out to me.  In front of a restaurant there were several bodies lying side by side.  You could tell one was a woman from the heeled booties that were sticking out of the bottom of the sheet.  I could not stop thinking about her.  Who was she?  Where was she going?  Was she by herself or having dinner with a friend?  Did she have kids?  Who was going to miss her?  She was just a woman enjoying a random Friday night.  And then she was dead.  All through the show I thought about her.

While I was listening to news updates a thought occurred to me.  The world is changing.  I've always thought that if/when our civilization collapses and it descends into chaos it won't really matter to me because I won't be around for it.  But Cooper might.  That was a terrifying thought.  What happened in Paris Friday night seems like the beginning.  And it was the first time in my life I prayed for the Lord to come back soon.

Pray that our leaders make the tough decisions to keep us safe.  Pray that the right person for the job is elected a year from now (and the right person is NOT one who thinks that global warming is a bigger threat than ISIS, just FYI), because clearly the one we have is in denial beyond belief or completely stupid. This enemy is not one that can be "contained". They have to be eliminated. I was hesitant to even include the picture above, because the time for peace has passed. I'm very proud that our governor said he will not accept any refugees from Syria. THANK YOU, Governor Bentley for standing up to this insanity and trying to keep the people of Alabama safe. In the mean time be vigilant, because anyone that doesn't believe ISIS has its sights on US soil or is here NOW waiting to make their move is naive.

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Monday, November 9, 2015

Ghost Hunters Workout

I’ll be a bridesmaid in a wedding in less than a year.  Anytime you know you’re going to be in a wedding, you start thinking about your diet and looking good in your dress and in photos.  I WANT to workout.  Well scratch that.  I wish I had the DESIRE to work out.  Yes, that’s more accurate.  But I mostly have the desire to sit on the couch and watch TV when I have down time.  Then it hit me.  I can workout AND watch my favorite shows at the same time and turn it into a game.  Like a drinking game but with no alcohol and actual physical work.  So not like a drinking game at all.  We’ve been watching a lot of Ghost Hunters lately so I thought I’d start with that.  If you’re nerds like us and watch the SyFy show, I present to you the Ghost Hunters Workout.

Happy Hunting!

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Sunday, November 1, 2015

Snow White and Donald Trump

I hope everyone had a great Halloween!
We were due for a good, soaking rain Halloween night so we had to improvise.  In addition to the Trunk or Treat Wednesday night we took Cooper to a big community Trunk or Treat Friday.  Even if we didn't get to actually trick or treat on Halloween I HAD to have someone put some candy in his little pumpkin.

Is this not the cutest Donald Trump you've ever seen?  In reality only one of his parents is actually entertaining the idea of voting for him.  I won't tell you which one.

Saturday morning Cooper got in his costume AGAIN and went to work with me for the big group Halloween picture.  I was BUMMED when I realized Halloween fell on my off day but I wasn't going to miss it this year (we were in Gatlinburg last year).  I'm not even going to tell you how long it took me to do my (semi natural) makeup.  I just don't have a gift for painting faces.  These girls this year that looked amazing in their day of the dead and animal makeup?  Nope.  I have enough trouble with liquid eyeliner.

Saturday night Cooper and I hung out at Mom and Dad's for a while and he played with his little bit of loot.  If this picture doesn't sum up Halloween I don't know what does:

Cooper spent the night with Nanny and Poppie last night and since we weren't getting out in the rain Chris and I settled in on the couch to watch horror movies.  We started with The Lazarus Effect.  Pretty entertaining in a fun house kind of way and my man Evan Peters is in it.  Toward the end of the movie I said to Chris, "the lights go out a LOT in this movie!" and it was usually right before someone died.  When the movie ended we settled on an exorcism movie to buy on demand.  The movie was just starting...and the lights went out.  I latched onto Chris, and I can't be sure but I think he grabbed onto me a little bit too.  With no TV we settled for watching Grease on the laptop.

Sunday morning I got right down to business and started ordering Christmas gifts.  Tis the season!  Apparently.  Personally, I wish October was just a little bit longer.

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