Thursday, February 11, 2010

One Moment


Something I wrote a few months ago:


You dread for months a single moment. You think about it constantly, cry over it, even have nightmares about it. It consumes all your thoughts. In every happy moment its there in the forefront of your mind. Because you know in that one moment you will say goodbye to the person you love most in the world. Your soul mate. Your other half. You've made all the practical preperations. You've made sure you have his Power of Attorney, helped him pack his hear nad even sat in silent agony as you watched him fill out his will...just in case. But nothing can prepare you for this.

He says it's time to leave now. You help him drag his mountain of gear to the car and silently drive away from home trying not to think about how you'll be sleeping alone tonight. He turns on the radio trying to distract you from what's coming next, but immediately turns it back off when he hears Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone" playing. Salt in the wound. You pull up to the Headquarters where other families are waiting with faces that match yours. Other than some chatter from the guys, it's quiet. You keep your arms around his waist as much as possible, trying to drag out those last few moments. You pull our your camera and take one picture of the two of you together. You'll hold onto that picture of him for the next seven months.

Someone gives the high sign and they begin to load the gear into the white van. You know you have just minutes left. Your heart starts to race and the calm facade starts to shatter. The tears fall. You contemplate begging him to stay but know it will do no good. He asks you to rip off the band-aid and go home now instead of watching the vans leave knowing it will break your heart. What he doesn't know is it's already cracked.

Here it is. The single moment you've been dreading for months. You've thought about it constantly, cried over and prepared for it. And here it is. You're about to say goodbye to your reason for living, your soul mate, your other half. Your husband who just so happens to be a Marine is about to deploy to a war-torn country. You hold him to you as tightly as possible and try to fit the next seven months into one kiss. He says he loves you and promises he'll be home soon. You in return promise to be waiting when he gets back. With that you pry yourself off of him and walk to your car. A friend gets in the drivers seat to take you home. You turn around and see him in the darkness standing in a circle of Marines. But he's not paying any attention to them. As the last solid peice of your heart breaks, you watch him watch you drive away.

Your clutch at this dogtags that are draped around your neck. That's where they will stay until he comes home to you.



3 comments:

  1. That was amazing, it brought tears to my eyes! Heartbreaking!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this, you captured the exact feelings I think everyone goes through. You're an excellent writer!

    ReplyDelete

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