Monday, July 14, 2014

A Word from Gus: Suspicions

Gustifson Garfield here. You can call me Gus.


Have you ever had that feeling that you’re not being told something? That there’s an inside joke and you’re on the outside? That serious information is being withheld from you for maybe evil purposes?

That’s how it feels in the Whitt house lately. Something serious has happened (or is happening) and Dixie and I aren’t privy to the information. Dixie feels it too.

First thing I noticed? Mom started eating a lot. Not that she has ever been Miss I Can’t Eat Because I’m Scared To Gain a Pound but lately she’s been cleaning out the cupboards and eating everything she sees. Dixie is kind of nervous about it. She figures if Mom loses it and decides to eat one of us it will be her since I’m the favorite. She can have Dixie as long as she doesn’t eat my wet food.

Then the parentals have been talking about redoing OUR bathroom. They’re talking about a new, cleaner tub and sanitizing the entire room. Like our litter box isn’t sterile or something. Curiouser and curiouser.

Perhaps the strangest thing of all? Dad has been staring at Mom a lot. Like….a lot. Like he’s  waiting for her to do a trick. He’s always asking, “How do you feel? Do you need anything? You want something to eat?”. Either he has royally screwed up and is trying to make up for it or Mom is dying. If she’s dying I’d like to know about it. I need to discuss her will with her before she goes. I’d like to have her sweatpants and the love seat.


But yes. Something is big is brewing. And I have a feeling it’s something terrible.


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5 comments:

  1. Yes, Gus. Something terrible IS happening and it's even worse than you think :)

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  2. Gus, everything will be alright! <3

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  3. Bahahahaha, hysterical!!! Poor Gussie, he's got no idea what's coming!

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  4. Oh, Gus! Don't worry things will be okay...though there will probably be some different arrangements for "your" bathroom. Try to just roll with it. :)

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