Monday, March 23, 2015

A Word From Gus: Well This Sucks [Thoughts on the New Addition]

Gustifson Garfield here. You can call me Gus.

Sometime around the middle of January I sensed a disturbance in the force. The humans left home one night…and didn’t return. Didn’t return that night anyway. Then they didn’t come home the next day either. Or the next. Three days later they finally returned…
…and I kind of wish they hadn’t.

They came home toting a tiny screaming machine that they like to call Cooper. I call it a nuisance. After a couple of weeks I realized that “Cooper” was actually going to keep living with us. I also realized that Dixie and I have been thoroughly knocked down the attention totem pole. Gone are the evenings of lounging on the couch between the parentals being worshipped and adored. Now nights are spent watching them hold the little monster while he sleeps, makes noise, and eats. Yes. They feed him in their arms. Mother never fed ME in her arms… Also gone are nights spent sleeping on the bed. We’ve been banned from the bedroom and heaven help if we set foot in “Cooper’s” room. Once Mom caught Dixie sitting in the gliding chair in this room. As cats we’re not really afraid of death. We have nine lives after all. But at that moment I’m fairly positive Mother was ready to relinquish Dixie of one of hers.

Seriously. Almost all of their time is taken up with It. If they’re not feeding him, they’re playing with him. If they’re not playing with him, they’re washing his bottles. If they’re not washing his bottles, they’re wiping his butt. They wipe his butt for pity’s sake!

Oh! And if ALL of that wasn’t enough. The icing on the top of this miserable cake? A few days after the new addition came home, they TOOK THE BED OFF THE FRAME. One of our favorite hiding spots was under this bed. No more. No more hiding under the bed. No more clawing the bed frame. Not that it matters since we’re no longer allowed in the room with the bed anyway! GAH!!

This whole thing just sucks.

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1 comment:

  1. Oh Gus...I'm sorry to hear you've lost your bedroom privileges! My cats are wincing in pity for you right now.

    On the bright side, once this Cooper fellow is a little older, I bet there will be a SECOND bed on a frame in the house, and then you'll have double the hiding try to look forward to that!


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