Monday, April 20, 2015

If I Were a UFC Fighter

Since having Cooper I've thought a lot about working to change my body. Making it what I want it to be...or at the very least doing some planks and leg lifts to get rid of the new little pooch before we go to the beach. But if I could wave a magic wand or be granted a wish, I would look like Ronda Rousey. A bad chick that could break someone in half. I mentioned in my 10 Things To Know About Me post that in my wildest dreams I'm a UFC fighter. I've got this all figured out.


I would need an intimidating nickname to go with my intimidating physique.
The nickname that I would absolutely want more than anything is already taken. Thanks, Miesha Cupcake Tate.
Anyway, the one I finally decided on is Alyssa Tiny Tornado Whitt. Perfect, right?!
Some others I considered were:
Alyssa Smoke Wagon Whitt
Lethal Alyssa Whitt
Spitfire Alyssa Whitt
Alyssa The Lioness Whitt (Already taken.)
Alyssa Dixie Chicken Whitt
Alyssa Alabama Slammer Whitt
Alyssa Avalanche Whitt

I would wear a bright pink top and black board shorts and be sponsored by Dunkin Donuts. I would HAVE to find something else to do with my hair besides corn rows. Girlfriend doesn't have the right head shape for that. My intro music without a doubt would be Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys. That song just makes me want to go to a bar and pick a fight.

I’d like to point out that other than sparring matches in karate when I was a kid, I’ve NEVER actually been in a fight. Always wanted to though. You know, just to see what would happen.  Please excuse me while I go buy a couple of ten pound weights.  Gotta start somewhere right?

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3 comments:

  1. Haha! I love this! Rhonda Rousey is pretty badass! I would love to just have the body of a UFC fighter without all the actual fighting.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my, I can't stop laughing!! I actually like Alyssa Alabama Slammer Whitt!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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