Monday, February 22, 2016

That Time I Got An Email From An Oscar Winner

gold glitter, email, oscar winner,

Just in time for the Academy Awards here's a little tale for you.  I debated even writing this post simply because it's so ridiculous I figured no one would believe it.

A few years ago, I woke up to an email with the subject line: Oscar Dress.  The Academy Awards had aired a couple of days before and I did my usual post giving my opinions on the best and worst dressed.  This post actually.  The email was eventually deleted but it went something like this:

I don't like that you called me and my dress ugly.
It's very bad karma.

It was a bit longer but that was the gist of it.
I had to read it and then reread it a few times to understand what I was reading and who it was from.  It took me a few minutes to realize the name in the signature was one I recognized.  I had watched her win an Oscar a few days before.  I googled her email and contact information and from everything I found, it was legit.  I got an email from a woman who WON AN OSCAR telling me she didn't like that I said her dress was ugly.  I, Alyssa, got an email from an OSCAR WINNER saying she didn't like that I didn't like her dress.

I emailed her back and basically said:

I didn't call you ugly, I called your dress ugly.
Congrats on your Academy Award.

Again, it was a bit longer but that's the cliff note version.
What I wanted to say but didn't because I didn't want to pile on to my already apparently bad karma was, "You just won a freaking Oscar, why do you care that a girl in Alabama thought your dress was ugly, which it was BTW."

You're probably wondering WHICH Oscar winner I managed to piss off.  I'll let your figure it out and here's why.  I began to wonder how in the WORLD this woman found my little blog.  I googled her name and "Oscar dress" and sure enough my blog post was on the front page.  She googled what people thought of her dress.  If she googles herself again and discovers I still think her dress was ugly, heaven won't be able to save me from my karma.

See?  I told you it was ridiculous.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

A Word from Gus - False Hope

cat in window, gus, fat cat, humor, cat diary

Gustifson Garfield here.  You can call me Gus.

Dixie and I long ago accepted the fact that the tiny human now known as Cooper will be living with us for the foreseeable future.  But over the weekend something happened.  Something that started out to be wonderful and ended with crushed dreams and dashed hopes.

Friday started out like a normal day.  The people left the house and took the baby with them and I lounged and stared out the window for the next twelve hours or so.  Later that night, much later than usual, the parentals came home…but the little one wasn’t with them.  I assumed they’d forgotten the little noise maker somewhere and would rush off to go get him as soon as they realized their mistake.  I certainly wasn’t going to bring it to their attention.  But they never did.  They went about their bedtime routine minus the thing that never shuts up and went to bed.  I was even allowed to sleep next to Mom!  I assumed my rightful place with my head resting in her hand while she slept.   Could it be?  I was afraid to let my thoughts wander to the possibility that they might have grown tired of the little monster and took him back to whatever road they found him on the side of.  But I DID let my thoughts wander there.  And they wandered even farther than that the next morning when Mom woke up and read a book for an hour in bed.  It had to be happening.  The tiny human had taken up residence elsewhere, exactly where I cared not, and things would go back to normal and I would once again be worshipped and adored.  They talked about getting lunch and shopping and left the house again. 
They came home that afternoon with leftovers from Ruby Tuesday, jeans from Old Navy…and the tiny bane of my existence.  He was back.  All the cat nip in all the Pet Smarts in all the world could not take the edge off my bitter disappointment.  A cruel joke.  Gus doesn’t like jokes.

Have I mentioned that he’s grabbing tails now.  Yeah.  It’s awesome to be me.

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Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Seeing Double - 2016 Red Carpet Appearances Side by Side

Hey friends!

I’m getting back into the blog swing of things and what better way than a red carpet post!  Instead of doing a separate post for each of the 483 award shows that have aired I thought I would do a side-by-side comparison of the lucky ladies that attended more than one of the big three that have happened so far: The Critic’s Choice Awards, The Screen Actors Guild Awards, and the Golden Globes.  [My invites obviously got lost in the mail.]

Amy Schumer, Critics Choice Awards, Golden Globe Awards, red carpet
Amy Schumer: The feminist darling has made a big splash at the awards this year, more for her antics than her fashion, given that neither of these looks are going to blow anyone away.  But maybe I’m biased because I can’t stand her.  Having said that, she looks nice in both.  The white dress looks really great on her but I much prefer the off the shoulder neckline and hair and makeup from the Globes.

Brie Larson, Red carpet, fashion, golden globes, critics choice awards
Brie Larson:  Hm…  The color is the only nice thing about her pale blue look from the SAG Awards.  And let's not even mention those unfortunate shoes.  Even though something looks odd about the way the gold dress from the Globes fits her bust, it’s the definite winner here.

Bryce Dallas Howard:  Now here are to majorly contrasting looks.  I can kind of see what she was going for in the black number from the Critic’s Choice Awards but something’s just not right.  Even though I like the smoky eye on her, it’s hard to beat the gorgeous dress and fresh face from the Globes.  And props for the three quarter length sleeves.

Emilia Clarke: No contest here for me!  The “simple” hot pink gown from the SAG Awards is amazing on her.  She’s practically glowing.  The black dress from the Globes with the super high neckline completely hides her gorgeousness.

Emmy Rossum: She’s one of the girls whose closet I would happily steal everything from.  She ALWAYS looks amazing in whatever style she goes for.  The red gown from the Globes of course looks great but I feel like we’ve seen her in this before and it’s SUPER similar to Naomi Watts yellow ensemble from a last year’s Golden Globes.  So for me the winner is the edgy black number from the Critic’s Choice Awards.  I love the super simple fit, open neckline and the amazing, unexpected sequins.

Eva Longoria: I’m definitely not a fan of either look.  The green dress from the SAG Awards is too much and the white dress is odd with that cut-out bow thing on the neck.  If I HAD to pick a winner I’d pick the dress from the Golden Globes based solely on the colorful flowers on the white backdrop.

Gina Rodriguez:  I kind of like this girl!  Two very different but very classy looks.  The coral color and the fit of the dress from the Critic’s Choice Awards is amazing and it’s tough call but I have to pick the navy ball gown from the Globes!  The off the fit of the bodice, the neckline, the earrings, and the hair are all simply perfect.

Helen Mirren: A triple header!  I’m not sure what’s going on at the Critic’s Choice Awards but the other two are really lovely and she always knows how to dress for her age.  I like the slinky, silver look of the SAG Awards, but the black dress at the Globes takes the cake.  The sheer shoulders are a nice touch and just give me that necklace.

January Jones:  I always look forward to seeing what she’s wearing.  This is an easy choice for me.  While I like the color and idea of the tulle gown at the SAG Awards (not to mention the gorgeous hair and soft makeup), it adds 20 pounds to her frame!  The pale blue dress at the Critic’s Choice Awards is so quirky and fun!  I only wish she’d worn different shoes…

Joanne Froggart: There’s a clear winner here.  The blue dress from the Critic’s Choice Awards is pretty but nothing special and the way she styled the red dress from the SAG Awards made it look like she bought it off the rack at Sears.  The Golden Globes dress is sweet, feminine, and beautiful.

Julianne Moore: Speaking of off the rack at Sears, what was she thinking in that ugly green dress???  There is nothing good about this dress.  Nothing.  Not a thing.  The color, the fit, the fabric.  It’s a green nightmare.  However, the sequined Golden Globes dress is gorgeous.  My only gripe is the piece of fabric around the neck.  Rip it off and it’s perfect.

Kate Winslet:  Kate!!!  This girl rocks a sheath dress like nobody’s dang business.  I keep looking between the two and I honestly can’t pick a winner!  I love the emerald color, the sleeves and the mermaid fit that shows off her gorgeous curves in the  SAG Awards dress.  But I also love the color, the satin and the halter neckline of the Globes dress.  It’s a tie closer than the Iowa democratic caucus.

Leslie Mann: She’s never been one of my favorites on the red carpet, and dresses like the pink Golden Globes ensemble is the reason why.  However, I do like the flirty dress from the Critic’s Choice Awards!  Fun things like this is what I like to see her wearing.  And I actually just noticed the splash of hot pink lipstick.  Props for that.  Let’s just get some better shoes next time.

Queen Latifah:  That blue color looks AMAZING on her skin.  I’m partial to blue but there’s something about the fit of the dress that just doesn’t look right.  But I think she just rocked the black number.  The long sleeves, fit and black color and super flattering and I love her hair up.

Rachel McAdams: Three different looks and three home runs.  I love them all!  The slinky, sexy look of the red dress at the Critic’s Choice Awards is gorgeous.  But so is the black and sheer dress.  And her makeup is perfect.  But then there’s the gorgeous, floral gown from the Globes with the perfect silhouette and lipstick to match!  So much awesomeness!!  If I HAD to pick a winner….  Screw it.  It’s my blog and I don’t have to pick a winner.  They’re all fabulous.  You go, Regina George.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely:  Does anyone else’s self-esteem take a hit when they look at her?  The black dress is amazing (even if I wish the neckline was a tad higher) but the golden dress from the (appropriate enough) Golden Globes is stunning.  She looks like a goddess.

Saoirse Ronan:  I love all of these looks on her!  What keeps the blue dress from the Critic’s Choice Awards from being a perfect 10 is the hair.  It distracts from the detail of the shoulders and looks messy.  The pink gown is gorgeous but the white Grecian dress from the Globes is the stand-out winner here.  It’s a look we’ve seen before but she looks absolutely ethereal.

Sarah Paulson:  She’s an oddball isn’t she?  But I wouldn’t love her if she were anything less.  The sequin dress is cool in a weird way, but I have to admit I really like the black feathered dress from the Globes!  I love the contrast of the bright colors with the black skirt.  It’s so her. 

Now all that’s left is the mother of all Award Shows!  The Oscars!  And if my boy, Leo, finally gets his hands on a statue you are going to hear my fangirling from wherever you happen to be at the time.

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